Sam didn’t look up from his phone. “We don’t set fires, Dad.”
“This is going to be a documentary about us,” Mark said, holding a bag of popcorn that was already mostly empty. “Complete Savages. Get it?” complete savages netflix
“You know,” Mark said slowly, “in the show, the dad eventually learns to embrace the chaos.” Sam didn’t look up from his phone
Finn nodded solemnly. “And we never lost a younger sibling in a dumpster. Ollie lives in the dumpster every other Thursday. Recycling day.” Get it
Sam looked up. “And the kids?”
Halfway through the second episode—where the TV dad tries to teach his sons about responsibility by making them share one single phone—Mark paused the screen. He looked at his three boys: Sam’s lanky frame folded into a beanbag, Finn’s face now a Rorschach test of orange snack residue, and Ollie sharpening a plastic spork into a “ceremonial dagger.”
Ollie raised his spork. “I propose we become better Savages. Not the fake TV kind. The real kind. We build a functioning trebuchet. We start a neighborhood fire-watch co-op. We finally teach Dad how to use the streaming remote without calling me in from the backyard.”