If a sentence uses make, do, have, give, take + an abstract noun, change the noun into a verb. 2.2 Destroy the Passive Voice (Most of the Time) Passive hides the actor. Active drives the sentence.
| Delete | Replace With | |--------|-------------| | In order to | to | | Due to the fact that | because | | At this point in time | now | | For the purpose of | for | | In spite of the fact that | although | | With the exception of | except | | The reason why is that | because | Look for is, are, was, were, be, being, been . Often they signal a weaker structure.
| Weak (Nominalization) | Punchy (Verb) | |----------------------|---------------| | He made an accusation. | He accused. | | The committee conducted an investigation. | The committee investigated. | | She had a realization. | She realized. | revising your prose for power and punch pdf
This guide provides a systematic revision process. Follow it to transform limp, wordy sentences into crisp, forceful ones. 1.1 The Energy Principle Strong verb + specific noun = power. Weak verb + vague noun + adverb = fluff. 1.2 The Economy Principle Cut every word that does not earn its place. If a sentence works without a word, delete it. 1.3 The Rhythm Principle Vary sentence length. Short sentences punch. Long sentences flow. Use both. PART 2: THE SURGICAL CUT – ELIMINATE WEAKNESS 2.1 Kill the “Zombie Nouns” (Nominalizations) Turn abstract nouns back into verbs.
Use passive when the actor is unknown or unimportant (“The bank was robbed at midnight”). 2.3 Execute Adverbs – Especially After Dialog Adverbs tell. Strong verbs show. If a sentence uses make, do, have, give,
| Weak | Punchy | |------|--------| | At the end of the long road, a house stood. | A house stood at the end of the long road. | | After much deliberation, the jury reached a verdict. | The jury reached a verdict after much deliberation. | The last few words of a sentence resonate most. End on a strong, concrete word—not a preposition or weak adjective.
| Passive | Active | |---------|--------| | The ball was hit by John. | John hit the ball. | | Mistakes were made. | I/We/They made mistakes. | | Delete | Replace With | |--------|-------------| |
| Weak | Punchy | |------|--------| | There is a problem with the plan. | The plan has a problem. | | It was her habit to arrive late. | She habitually arrived late. | | The point is that we need money. | We need money. | 3.1 Start Strong – Front-Load Your Sentences Put the most important word near the beginning.